when i discovered my crush's existence, i felt this weird sort of connection to her. she awoke certain feelings in me, feelings that i had not felt since my body was very young. i brushed it off as thinking she was very pretty, and moved on. or, at least, that's what i tried to do.

i found myself looking at her blog obsessively. no matter how i tried, i couldn't stop myself. i thought many other girls were pretty, but i'd never done this with them. i met a girl who became quite obsessed over me, who got deeply jealous of my crush, and wanted me to unfollow her. i felt really bad for not reciprocating this, and thought that if i did as she said, i could change. well, i did that, and it didn't work. now, that girl is no longer in my life, and i can do what i please.

after a few weeks, i noticed something. i began having the urge to look at my crush's blog, and when i did, she'd recently posted. whenever i looked at her blog, i was put into such a calm mood. in the weeks after this, i began to notice my powers getting stronger.

by that, i mean my mental connection to her. i mean i can tell what sort of posts she likes, and predict, with pretty good accuracy, which ones will appear on her blog. they often appear on my blog, too. bc of this, i wanted to get close to her. i tried, and it didn't really work. i was upset at this. i wondered, how could this be? how could i be so connected to her, but i can't actually get close to her? then, i finally realized why this is.

i am her guardian angel. i can't get too close to her. since i'm an angel and she isn't, my out-of-this-world-ness will blow her clean off the face of the earth, or something like that. i have to protect her from afar, even if "afar" means "over a thousand miles away." i am content with this. it's not like she would've liked me back, anyway. she'd not the type of person who's interested in sixteen-year-old girls. i only feel regret for not finding her, and protecting her, sooner.

you may be asking, "kitty, if you live so far away from her, how can you actually protect her?" the answer is simple, my friend. my soul is bound to hers. bc of this, nothing bad can happen to her. nothing she can't deal with, anyway.